Tuesday, May 8, 2012

ETT: the freeride flick

Possible captions:

"I'm slow, but I have a downhill bike and I want to look like I know how to ride it. If I just throw my bike around wildly it will look like I'm riding a really tough trail. I think I'm the first person to ever do this."

"Hey guys, check it out! I saw this move on every Matt Miles/Silvia video, every Steve Romanuik movie segment ever and on about 95% of the Coastal Crew edits."

"If I could do this in midair I would actually look cool."

In case you were wondering, the term "freeride flick" does not refer to a video about freeriding, unless you're the sort of d-bag that would refer to a film as a "flick." If you are that sort of d-bag, you have come to this website in error. This is a picture of Matt Miles performing a freeride flick. It is also largely indistinguishable from the photo above:

"My front and rear tires can't agree what direction we're supposed to be going."
Team robot race winning tactic #194: convince your competition that freeride flicking is the fastest way through a turn.

FACT: A little bit of Alex Rankin's soul dies every time someone does a Freeride flick.

Freeride flicks came into vogue around 2006, pioneered by Canadian freeriders who had to compete for movie spots with downhill racers that actually knew how to ride their bikes. By late 2007 Rankin's soul could not handle the abuse any longer, and he retired from filming the World Cup to rest and recuperate at his home in England. In 2009 the Coastal Crew formed. By early 2010 Alex Rankin was a full blown Ginger. His soul had been trampled and spat on, and ultimately it disappeared.

Alex Rankin, circa 2010. Over the past five years his soul was crushed and killed, and by 2009 he was a full blown ginger; a hollow shell of the once great filmmaker we all knew. RIP.

No comments: