Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Bets

I think Loic Bruni was on track to win a World Cup by the end of this year, but my bet is that he completely falls off the back now that he has to ride the rolling garbage pile:


You can stick as much duct tape on there as you want, it's still going to suck.



At least it fits well:


Oh... nevermind. Side note: top secret shoes.


I don't actually know anything about this new bike but, call it a premonition, it sucks. After all, this is coming from the same company that copied I-drive... I-drive... to bring us their "Pendbox" design. When GT's big product innovation from '99 is your major design influence, things are pretty rough at the Lapierre engineering department. We're not expecting great things with the new bike, which sucks because Aaron Bartlett has been doing good things with these guys.

For a while there, it seemed like things were really getting better. Loic was learning better english, Blenkinsop seemed to be having fun again and racing well, and this young Brit Aaron Bartlett was making interesting videos with the team, complete with clips of clogged toilet and shirtless partying, so the head bosses at corporate French Lapierre had to come in, take everyone down a few pegs, and make everything weird and French again. Mission accomplished. This new bike fits in with lots of other great things France gave to the world, like:


The Maginot Line



The Citroen DS




Rwanda




Vietnam, too




Okay, and Haiti also




And Libya...




And Syria




Anyway, Crepes are really good:






Other bets:

TEAM ROBOT believes that regardless of facts, history, or reason, Sam Hill wins and Steve Smith will be in the top three at Fort Bill. Probably Sam Hill finishes in second place, too.


We believe.

5 comments:

dicky said...

WTF is that thing running parallel to the frok?

sum idgit said...

It's just a position sensor they use to collect data for suspension tuning.

Brandon said...

god i love you for this

Uncle Cliffy said...

Sam Hill in 2nd. Robots can predict the future. Sort of...

Anonymous said...

Ahem...
http://www.vitalmtb.com/photos/features/WINNING-BIKE-Loic-Brunis-Lapierre-DH-for-World-Champs,9388/WINNING-BIKE-Loic-Brunis-Lapierre-DH-for-World-Champs,97257/sspomer,2